Thursday, June 27, 2013

A History of Dieting

This is my 100th blog post!

And to celebrate it, I'm going to talk about motivation.  This is mainly to remind myself when I start getting bummed out that the scale isn't moving or feeling frustrated just with all the hard work that there is to even lose weight.  Since I'm on a motivation high right now, I though this would be a good time to express all this.

2 visual events that helped to prompt me to lose weight in the past.  I mean, I've tried to lose weight about 100 times before and up until this point I have never lost more than 20 pounds at any one given point, nor has the motivation lasted past about 4 months.  At the beginning of 2 of those 4 months stretches usually started by a seemingly innocent thing that turned into a jarring reality.

The first event happened in 2003.  I was an Assistant Manager at a local movie theater (RIP Siegen Village 10), and I decided to go take Devyn, who was 10 at the time, to a movie on my day off.  We went and saw Bend it Like Beckham.  To this day, I still adore that movie.  But something happened during the watching.  I saw those girls on the screen playing soccer and they were happy and fit.  That reminded me of a time when all I cared about in the world was basketball and how I truly loved the game and how I missed it.   And I knew that at 215 pounds that I wasn't going to be able to play like I wanted to any time soon.  I started weeping.  Seriously, in the middle of the movie, I was crying.  Dev must have thought I had lost my marbles.  I knew within my heart that I was not happy and that I needed to change.  I left that theater with a LOT of determination. 

So I started going to the gym.  My eating habits never really changed, but I was working out and feeling better.  For about 3 months.

The second was in 2004.  On a whim, we netflixed (is netflixed a verb? ... anyway) Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  Chris had caught a glimpse of it while getting ready for work and he thought that would be something that we would be interested in watching.  Little did I know, that that one moment changed my nerdy life.  I went from a semi-nerd, who only geeked out when Star Wars came on the tv, to a full fledged, card-carrying member of Geeks United.  It opened up my world!  All this geekery that I had never been exposed too.  It still is and always will forever remain my favorite tv show of all time.

But, Buffy was Buff!  I wanted her will power!  I wanted to be her, should I ever come across a vampire!  I started literally reading every book I could find on the slayers and Buffy (and there are a lot of them!).  I started reading the comics.  Yes, I was late to the game on Buffy but I devoured every single thing I could find and every article that Joss Whedon was ever mentioned in.  Joss Whedon was my master now, and he didn't write about no chunky slayers.

So, second serious attempt at losing weight started happening right around this time.  I would rewatch the episodes and get on this cheap little elliptical that we had bought.    I probably lost around 25 pounds this go around.  It all came to a crashing halt when we discovered World of Warcraft though.

Yes, our WoW period.... Suffice it to say it was pure awesome at the time.  Looking back on it, I can't believe the hours and the obsession!  We would literally play from the moment we got home, until bed time.  And then we'd throw Chicken nuggets in the oven or justify other snacky foods that would not keep us too far away from the gaming.  Weekends were more of the same if not worse!  From the second we got home on Friday, we would play well into the night, sleep for just a few hours and then get up and do it all over again.  This went on for YEARS.  About 3 to be exact.  We would stop from time to time and Chris actually quit long before I had.  It wasn't until The Health Scare that I didn't hang up my cloak.

The Health Scare may or may not be related to my sedentary lifestyle.  Or it could have been a combination of things.  I developed Deep Vein Thrombosis and had blood clots form in both legs in 2008.  After about 3 months of agonzing pain, I finally found a doctor who gave me a proper diagnosis.  I had an actual blood clotting disorder called Anti-phospholipid Antibody Syndrome.   Once I actually was hospitalized and regained mobility, you would have thought that that would have scared me into taking a hard look at my life and start to make some serious changes. 

Why it took me 3 years and some months to change.  I have no idea.  All I know is that on November 7th, 2012, I was tired.  I was tired of the way I looked. I was tired of being out of shape.  I was just tired of being fat.

This has single-handedly been the longest consecutive streak that I have ever been on with weight loss.  Right now.  I feel stronger, healthier and happier than I have been in a lot of years.  I know I will struggle and there will be times again that I want to quit.  (Hello, 6 weeks of the scale not moving right before ONEderland!)  But I need to find a way to bottle this up and remember how hard I am working and that I AM worth it. 

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Wednesday Update

Good morning friends!

I'm down .4 this week.  I'm disappointed it wasn't a bit more but still happy to see a loss.  I feel like I've worked really hard this week and have done pretty well overall with the eating.  But considering how my weigh-in's normally go, I suppose this is just about right.

My game plan for the rest of the week is this...
Today - Gym after work for elliptical (if my mom joins me... if not, I'll do it from home)
Thursday - run before work; elliptical and weights at the gym after
Friday - walk before work; might be bowling with some friends after
Saturday - I'd really like to go run around the LSU lakes in the morning before we have to drive to Lafayette for our DnD game.  Weather permitting, of course.  If not, running early then gym work.  I'd like to try to swim on Saturdays too.  But running and swimming may be too much in one day. 
Sunday - Elliptical, if I feel like it.  Sundays are usually my rest day.

On a side note, the YMCA that I go to will be getting all new cardio machines next week.  I will miss my lovely Seymour.  He has been caked with a whole lot of my sweat since November and I will miss him dearly.  :(

Seymour and I loved to watch Doctor Who together...

June Exercise Challenge
Since last week I've exercised a total of 327 minutes bringing my total so far to 1027/1500.  So I've got just about 5 more days to see how close I can get to 1500. 

Monday, June 24, 2013

ONEderland and beyond

I've been cautiously nervous when mentioning to everyone that I'm below 200 now just because of the simple fact that I'm just barely below it.  In fact, I kinda glossed over it all together but reality is starting to sink in and I realize just how major an accomplishment this has been.  Each time I've stepped on the scale since last Tuesday I saw a number that started with a 1 instead of a 2.  For so long now that has been my #1 major hurdle to cross with this whole lifestyle change.   I have been over 200 now for about 13 years or so.  And when I think back even further, that means that for about 17 years now I have not been happy with myself.  I have not cared for myself or put myself first when it came down to it.  I'm going to be 39 years old next month and I'm determined to make 39 the best year that I've had in 17 years. 

I took a pic yesterday after my run since I haven't really been seeing a lot of progress lately but was blown away when I put the pic side by side with one that I came across recently of me and Devyn right before her prom. 

Now disclaimer time... I asked Chris if I really looked like that.  He said yes.  Now I'm not sure why but I don't see myself looking THAT small.  Of course, that also isn't a good angle of my behind since it's still huge too.  But even still, progress!  Why is it that we can't see changes in the mirror each day but yet when you compare them to an older pic, then you can see the obvious?  I certainly still do not feel smaller.  I still see all my imperfections and they are glaringly in my face practically all the time.

If you read my last post, you'll remember that I was having a staycation last week.  And I also wanted to try something that I haven't done in quite a long time.  I wanted to go swimming.  After heading to the gym Thursday during the day and chickening out due to all the kids that were there for summer camp, I put on a brave face and went to try again Friday morning.
Photo courtesty of CB Pennington YMCA

I was so nervous but I knew that I would hate myself if I chickened out yet again.  I went into the locker room and changed. 

I had a LOT of fun.  I'm so glad I went.  I'm not going to lie though, it was hard and I was pretty sore the next day.  Still.  Worth it!  I will definitely be doing it again when I can get the time and I do need a new swimsuit I've discovered.  I did laps for about an hour and I was very, very slow.  Basically, just think of the opposite of Michael Phelps and that was me. 

I had a couple of experiences this past week while running.  Both good!  Thursday, instead of following C25K, I just felt like I wanted to run. 

I ran a mile straight twice this week.  I haven't done that in several months and get this... I PR'ed on BOTH runs! 

The first one apparently matched my personal best from before when I was running regularly but the second one, I went sub 14!   So I think I'm going to start taking on distance a bit more too.  I want to get back to running 5K's regularly and just see how that feels and go from there!

And afterwards, I was so thrilled, I decided to treat the family and myself to some blueberry pancakes. 

And since I've been posting cat pictures lately, thought I'd share one of Oz from Saturday before we played Dungeons and Dragons with some friends.  Here he is guarding the dice (his favorite thing ever...)

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Go big or go home

I'm back at it!  Back to committing to 100% with logging and exercise.  I had a little break this past week but I'm ready to get back to it.

After 3 months of not really seeing the scale move, I am firmly in ONEderland this week.  My reward was supposed to be me coloring my hair some shade of purple.  (Subtly, mind you.. I am almost 40 and work in State Government so I can't quite go as crazy with it as I would like to.)   But due to, well, everything breaking in my house in some form or another, that may have to wait a few weeks.  So I'm thinking maybe streaks in the lavender shade.  My hair color is mousy brown so maybe that won't be too overwhelming.

I've gotten a few compliments lately and that is seriously helping with my motivation.  A few family members I saw recently at a funeral that I haven't seen in a while were very surprised and complimented me.  And my parents have been spreading the word to their friends about my weight loss so far.  That has really bolstered my confidence and I must keep at it. But I did start feeling myself slip back in to old habits last week.  I convinced myself that because our fridge was broken and we were eating out every single meal that I wasn't going to log all that.  And then since we didn't have any refrigerated beverages (milk, juice) around, Chris filled up the ice chests with Cokes and Beer.  I was so tempted.  I did give in to the beer (it was my favorite.. Kronenbourg...couldn't resist one here and there) but I refuse to give in with the soda even though there were at least 2 occasions that I came awfully close.  I know how I am.  If I had one soda, it will be my downfall.  A beer I can easily stop at one but not with soda.

So the loss of the fridge really hurt me I think.  But in some form or another it taught me a lesson.  That even in dire circumstances (eating out constantly..) I can have a treat meal here or there, but I have to be mindful of each and every bite.  On those times that I know we are going to be having a treat or even a drink, I need to make sure I counter that with exercise.  And for the love of all that is holy, I Must. Log. Everything.

The first part of my staycation has been pretty nice so far but now that work part is coming into play.  Chris went back to work today so I still have today and tomorrow and then the weekend.  My plan of attack is this: 
And Chris's dice bag for DnD that I bought him.  Looks better than the ole Crown Royal bag, dontcha think?
I can already cross the run part off my list and I'm pretty proud to say that for the first time in about 2 months, I ran a mile straight with no walk breaks.  I did take a 2 min break after I hit the mile but then ran the rest of the way home.  It felt really really good to do that.  It's been a while and even though it's so bloody hot down here, I felt marvelous.  I really need to figure out how to get my lazy butt out of bed around 4:30 during the work week to get those runs in before work.   I'll have to think on that.
Holy crap on a cracker! I just realized that I PR'ed my one mile time too!

And last but not least, here's a pic of me on Saturday before we went to see Man of Steel.  (It was awesome btw, LOVED IT!  So much so that I've seen it twice now!)
Chris doesn't always look this grumpy.. just when taking pictures.  I promise!  Although I could have killed him for wearing his Batman t-shirt to see Man of Steel!

June Exercise Update -  721/1500 

Probably not going to hit my goal, but I'm going to hopefully kick butt this next week to get as close to that end number as I can.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Stay-cations and refridgerator woes

Life has been so crazy this week.  I've only managed just a couple of days of exercise and I'm VERY much looking forward to getting this day over with.  Chris and I are having a staycation.  And it is very much needed!

The stay-cation didn't actually start out as one though.  We were orginally planning to go to Dallas to a concert.  Not just a concert, 2 of our all time favorite bands at the same time.  Barenaked Ladies and Ben Folds Five.  I'm still really sad we are going to miss it.  We had just paid off all of our credit cards recently, and were going to pay for this trip with cash but a few things have popped up here lately that has caused us to blow through our savings and have to actually hit a credit card once more.  First off was Buzz and his vet bills, then our lawnmower broke about 3 weeks ago.  We were able to fortunately pay for those with cash that we had saved in our emergency/Dallas fund.  And then we get to last Sunday.  I had went to a movie with Dev and when I get out, I noticed Chris sent a text.... "Fridge died, bringing all the cold/freezer stuff to my parents."  <sigh>  After getting a repairman out to give us an estimate, it turns out it was the compressor and we were quoted about $700 to fix it.  Of course, we had to pay the guy for the estimate as well, and at that point we decided that new fridges don't cost much more than that, so we may as well get a new one.  So that's where the credit card had to get used.   The sad fact of the matter was that our fridge was only 3 years old and a Maytag. 

And the worst part about the fridge being dead... all I have wanted this whole week was a glass of milk.  I think just because I can't have it, that's all I can think about and want.  I miss my grapes too.  And dare I say it, I'm actually really tired of eating out so much this week.  I'm missing my home cooked meals.  It just seems like too much of a hastle to go by his parent's house to get just what we need to fix for one meal then to bring it back home and cook.  So we've been eating out.... a lot.

And in the midst of this week from Hades, we also had a wake and a funeral to attend.  My aunt's father passed away and he was such a wonderful man.  World War 2 Vet and POW and just truly one of the best men I have had the honor to know. 

One small bright spot this week, well, ok a couple actually.  I'm still running more regularly than before.  I'm up to 5 minute stretches again and those felt good.  I've been doing about 3 or 4 5 min intervals then about a 2 min walk in between.

Next huge development.  On Tuesday, this happened.....

Sadly, I haven't seen it since on the scale but not suprising given all the eating out we've been doing.

Oh and I thought I'd update with some ONEderland pics

I'm starting to see a figure!  I wasn't even sucking in the gut either.  :)

And here's a Loki pic of the week.  He's my photogenic cat.

So my plans for next week are these.. 1) Enjoy spending time with hubby and relaxing.  2)  MAN OF STEEL!  Y'all seriously, I am the biggest Superman nerd.  I simply cannot wait.  I'm with Superman like Chris is with Batman and if you know Chris, you know how much of a big deal that is.  I can't wait!  I've got my Superman tshirt ready and my undies too.  Yes, I have superman undies.  :P   We are going to see it tomorrow in IMAX and 3D.  So excited... SQUEEEEE!  3) Clean the heck out of the house.  I'm planning on doing the unconventional stuff that I never had time to do on normal weekends.. baseboards, windows, toilets.  All that fun stuff.  4) The Last of Us video game comes out.  We'll be doing that a good bit I suspect too.  5) Next weekend, we are getting back into playing Dungeons and Dragons again.  Chris is going to give Dungeon Mastering a whirl!  So I'm really looking forward to visiting with friends and doing that next weekend. 6) Exercise.  Yep, that's getting done too. 

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.  I'm so ready for this staycation to start, It's not even funny!

June Exercise challenge ----  
520/1500  (need to kick it in gear, still not doing too bad though..)

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

A very un-merry Un-ONEderland


Still not quite there.   I'm down .4 from last week so I guess that is something.  The sad part is that I've really kicked it up a notch with the exercise this week.  Especially yesterday, I had my own version of a Last Chance Workout.   Yesterday, I did W3D2 of C25K at the gym, I did 25 minutes of weight training and managed 3 sets of 20 on each machine that I did.  I also did 45 on the elliptical and watched an episode of Doctor Who.  In addition, I managed my 75 squats and 75 crunches (my quads are quite sore today, I might add).

I did, however, lose 2.5 inches just in my waist and 1/2 of an inch from my hips since last month.  Which is probably why I'm now able to get into my size 18s. 

So, needless to say, I was very disgruntled on the scale this morning.  Of course, that could also be since my T.O.M is about to be here too.  So close but yet so far away. 

In other geeky related news, I bought a new Supernatural themed t-shirt.  :)  That always makes me happy, buying new tshirts. 
Not the most flattering of angles... oooff.

Also, Doyle wanted to tell you guys hello...

June exercise update as of today:


Monday, June 3, 2013

June Goals

June is here and in south Louisiana that means it's about to get HOT and stay that way at least until November.  So I'm really going to have to start making a huge effort to get my runs done in the morning before work.  That means the alarm goes off at 4:30am and I'm dreading it already.  :(   I am usually an early bird but here lately, I've been really craving sleep it seems.  It's either that, or go after work to the indoor gym at the YMCA.  But I really don't like doing that option, since the GPS on my phone can't connect so I'm just having to run without knowing how my pace is going, etc.  I can still time it, but I always tend to obsess about the clock when I run in the gym. 

I had a pretty good weekend though.  This was the first weekend in a while that we have not had any obligations and it was WONDERFUL, let me tell you!   Friday, after work, we hit up Sam's and Target and got all the grocery shopping done.  Once we did that, we weren't sure what we were going to do other than possibly play Borderlands 2 on the Playstation or just watch a movie or something.  We ended up browsing through Netflix and came across the show, The Killing.  I had heard some good stuff about it and Chris said we could give the pilot a try.  After that one episode, we were hooked.  We watched the entire first season and are halfway through the second as of today!   In between watching breaks, I did manage to get a run in Saturday morning and also a little elliptical time in.  I sweated out a few gallons I think but it felt good to get that in.  All in all, it was a good way to start the month.

Speaking of June, I've decided that I'm going to shoot for 1500 exercise minutes this month.  In addition, and even though I just started this today, I'm going to see if I can do crunches and squats every day for the rest of the month.  I started out this morning and did 50 of each, so I think I will space out the first 3 days of the month and try to "technically" do those days as well. 

Also, I think I'm going to step out of my comfort zone once again and try something different.  Something that honestly, I'm very nervous about.  Back in my youth, I loved to swim.  I craved it and if I could spend 24/7 in a pool, I would be the happiest kid on the block.  Sadly, this body hasn't seen a swimsuit in, oh about 5 years.  So the first challenge, will be finding something that works swimsuit-wise.  I think I have one but need to try to find it.  So at some point this month, I will go swimming!

So breaking down my June goals:
  • 1500 exercise minutes
  • Go swimming
  • Daily crunches and squats
I'll report back from time to time and let you all know how it goes!

June is the month that I WILL hit ONEderland.  Trust me, no one is more sick of being stuck between 200-203 for the last 5 weeks.  It's been torture!  I'm ready to bust through this!

What are your goals for June?