This is my 100th blog post!
And to celebrate it, I'm going to talk about motivation. This is mainly to remind myself when I start getting bummed out that the scale isn't moving or feeling frustrated just with all the hard work that there is to even lose weight. Since I'm on a motivation high right now, I though this would be a good time to express all this.
2 visual events that helped to prompt me to lose weight in the past. I mean, I've tried to lose weight about 100 times before and up until this point I have never lost more than 20 pounds at any one given point, nor has the motivation lasted past about 4 months. At the beginning of 2 of those 4 months stretches usually started by a seemingly innocent thing that turned into a jarring reality.
The first event happened in 2003. I was an Assistant Manager at a local movie theater (RIP Siegen Village 10), and I decided to go take Devyn, who was 10 at the time, to a movie on my day off. We went and saw Bend it Like Beckham. To this day, I still adore that movie. But something happened during the watching. I saw those girls on the screen playing soccer and they were happy and fit. That reminded me of a time when all I cared about in the world was basketball and how I truly loved the game and how I missed it. And I knew that at 215 pounds that I wasn't going to be able to play like I wanted to any time soon. I started weeping. Seriously, in the middle of the movie, I was crying. Dev must have thought I had lost my marbles. I knew within my heart that I was not happy and that I needed to change. I left that theater with a LOT of determination.
So I started going to the gym. My eating habits never really changed, but I was working out and feeling better. For about 3 months.
The second was in 2004. On a whim, we netflixed (is netflixed a verb? ... anyway) Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Chris had caught a glimpse of it while getting ready for work and he thought that would be something that we would be interested in watching. Little did I know, that that one moment changed my nerdy life. I went from a semi-nerd, who only geeked out when Star Wars came on the tv, to a full fledged, card-carrying member of Geeks United. It opened up my world! All this geekery that I had never been exposed too. It still is and always will forever remain my favorite tv show of all time.
But, Buffy was Buff! I wanted her will power! I wanted to be her, should I ever come across a vampire! I started literally reading every book I could find on the slayers and Buffy (and there are a lot of them!). I started reading the comics. Yes, I was late to the game on Buffy but I devoured every single thing I could find and every article that Joss Whedon was ever mentioned in. Joss Whedon was my master now, and he didn't write about no chunky slayers.
So, second serious attempt at losing weight started happening right around this time. I would rewatch the episodes and get on this cheap little elliptical that we had bought. I probably lost around 25 pounds this go around. It all came to a crashing halt when we discovered World of Warcraft though.
Yes, our WoW period.... Suffice it to say it was pure awesome at the time. Looking back on it, I can't believe the hours and the obsession! We would literally play from the moment we got home, until bed time. And then we'd throw Chicken nuggets in the oven or justify other snacky foods that would not keep us too far away from the gaming. Weekends were more of the same if not worse! From the second we got home on Friday, we would play well into the night, sleep for just a few hours and then get up and do it all over again. This went on for YEARS. About 3 to be exact. We would stop from time to time and Chris actually quit long before I had. It wasn't until The Health Scare that I didn't hang up my cloak.
The Health Scare may or may not be related to my sedentary lifestyle. Or it could have been a combination of things. I developed Deep Vein Thrombosis and had blood clots form in both legs in 2008. After about 3 months of agonzing pain, I finally found a doctor who gave me a proper diagnosis. I had an actual blood clotting disorder called Anti-phospholipid Antibody Syndrome. Once I actually was hospitalized and regained mobility, you would have thought that that would have scared me into taking a hard look at my life and start to make some serious changes.
Why it took me 3 years and some months to change. I have no idea. All I know is that on November 7th, 2012, I was tired. I was tired of the way I looked. I was tired of being out of shape. I was just tired of being fat.
This has single-handedly been the longest consecutive streak that I have ever been on with weight loss. Right now. I feel stronger, healthier and happier than I have been in a lot of years. I know I will struggle and there will be times again that I want to quit. (Hello, 6 weeks of the scale not moving right before ONEderland!) But I need to find a way to bottle this up and remember how hard I am working and that I AM worth it.